Dissolution

I have been silent for about a week because I have been working through questions of faith. “Who” I believe in hasn’t changed, that foundation could never be shaken. What I believe in has been rocked to its core. I can’t find the words yet to accurately articulate it but I have had a song by Crowder on repeat because he comes the close to what I feel and what I’m wrestling with.

So I’m including the lyrics to the Crowder song :

Praise the Lord.

I used to shake You like an 8-ball
I used to shoot You like a gun
I used to hold You like a hammer
Try to nail down everyone
I used to keep You in a steeple
Used to bind You in a Book
I used to take You like prescription
Without knowing what I took

But now I just don’t buy it anymore
No, I’ve tried and I’ve tried to know everything for sure
But I find I know less as I come to know You more
You’re not who I thought You were
Praise the Lord

Your love’s an ocean, not a river
A symphony, not just a song
I don’t think everybody’s right
I just think most of us were wrong
I think that when we get to Heaven
We’re gonna laugh when we can see
How hard we try to make it
And how easy it should be

And so I just don’t buy it anymore
No, I’ve tried and I’ve tried to know everything for sure
But I find I know less as I come to know You more
You’re not who I thought You were
Praise the Lord

Providence is endless
Mercy is a mystery
And fear is no good reason
To believe in anything

So I just don’t buy it anymore
No, I’ve tried and I’ve tried to know everything for sure
But I find I know less as I come to know You more
You’re not who I thought You were
Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord

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