Swaying with Jesus

I think we are alittle perplexing to nurses when they take our daughter off for surgery. It always starts with “ do you want to hug her goodbye” Nope.. that’s not how we roll. We have done this rodeo many many times and not once has it gotten easier but we never ever say “ goodbye” instead we show our muscles and Zoey pronounces loudly “ big and brave mommy daddy” big and brave.

She then proceeds to go down the hall sitting straight up in her bed waving to all the nurses doctors and patients as if she is the Queen of England. She announces to all “ Hi, I Zoey , I get new ears and tutes today “. Right mommy… I big and brave.

I’m laying in the chair they provide. That part has come along way. This chair actually reclines. That’s fun.

But I digress. I’m laying here looking out our window at the Beautiful gardens at children’s and taking it in. How many times I have been waiting in a room waiting for news to hear how our daughter is.

The morning of surgeries is never easy. We’ve done this trek to children’s so many times even Zoey knows the way. As I got up and put on my brave face for our girl I turned on my phone for music and the first song to come on was “ Goodness of God” by Bethel.. literally it stopped me in my tracks. All I could do was raise my hands and begin to tear up. This song has come to mean so much to me over these years. With my life laid down I’m surrendered now I give you everything. Bc yoir goodness is running after me. I had no idea of the goodness of God until He gave us Zoey. I can not say it enough but it is through each heartache each set back each moment we have had to fight so hard for Zoey that I have seen the goodness of God. He shows His spell binding beauty in pain in grief in hardship. Each one of the crucibles have been His love letters to me. I love the definition of a crucible. a ceramic or metal container in which metals or other substances may be melted or subjected to very high temperatures. I have been gifted many experiences in which He has chosen to subject me to things that melt me to the core. He has allowed this so that in the end He can catch glimpses of Himself in me.

So this morning as I listened to this song, Zoey came walking in. I could not cry in front of her and I wasn’t holding my hands up anymore. And then Jesus showed up through our girl. She walked in ready for her surgery heard the song and started to sway. All on her own and then she lifted her little hands in the air: She has never done that before and at that I could no longer keep my eyes dry. It was as if in that moment Jesus and Zoey were having a moment. I have never seen her lift her little hands in worship but she did this morning. And at the moment I knew she knew who her Jesus is and she and He were having their own moment. It was the most beautiful moment I’ve ever seen. Zoey swaying and holding her hands up to worship the One who has been with her every single moment of every single hurt. I think Zoey knows Jesus better than any of us. If you’ve never heard the song

“ Goodness of God” I’ve included the lyrics. But go turn it on, start to sway and for a moment just bask in the goodness of Zoeys Jesus 💗

I love You, Lord

For Your mercy never fails me

All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands

From the moment that I wake up

Until I lay my head

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice

You have led me through the fire

In the darkest night

You are close like no other

I’ve known You as a Father

I’ve known You as a Friend

And I have lived in the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

‘Cause Your goodness is running after

It’s running after me

Your goodness is running after

It’s running after me

With my life laid down

I’m surrendered now

I give You everything

‘Cause Your goodness is running after

It’s running after me

‘Cause Your goodness is running after

It’s running after me

Your goodness is running after

It’s running after me

With my life laid down

I’m surrendered now

I give You everything

‘Cause Your goodness is running after

It keeps running after me

And all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

‘Cause all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

One thought on “Swaying with Jesus

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