Bob Goff said it best, ” God’s plan for us is usually where our passions, our purpose and our capablities intersect”.
I went back to work this year for the first time in 15 years. It is weird to even write those words out. I graduated in Architecture and was always a career minded, completely driven type A personality. I have never lacked for confidence which is weird seeing as how when I graduated i was rejecetd by every firm I applied to. CADD had just come on the scene the year I graduated and although I could draw anything by hand the only thing people wanted was a knowledge of the computer. Afer 27 rejections…yes you read that correctly…27 rejections…for awhile I saved every letter…. a man finally took a chance on me and the rest was history.
Then came the birth of our son. My husband, at that season in our life, made more money than I did. We both came to the conclusion that it would be better for me to take a season off to be with our son than to pay for child care. What we couldn’t have known then was that it would be the best decision we could have made because our daughter would come along 5 years later and have so many health needs that working would have no longer been an option. Had I been forced to quit working versus willingly giving it up 5 years earlier it would have made me bitter I’m sure because I was such a die hard cooperate kind of girl.
A season turned into 15 years. Brutiful years as Glennon Doyle would say ” brutal and beautiful all mixed together”.
Now that our children are at a point of being somewhat self sufficient I have once again returned to the work place. And i can honestly say I am in a good place mentally to be there. The company I have gone to work for is such a 360 from the environments I had been a part of. Self awarensess is a huge componet of my new employeer. It is truly fun at this stage of my life to be content and confident in who I am personally and still learning so much about myself and my passions.
At this stage in my life I am coming to the acceptance of the fact that I am not a ” doer” and that is ok. The best analogy I can come up with is the difference between Mary and Martha the friends of Jesus. Mary was a listener Martha was a doer. In all the previous places of employement I don’t think “a listener/encougager ” type personality would be an asset. So i have never seen my ” gifts/brand/traits” of being someone eager to pause to listen to you, find ways to encourage you, make sure to have genuine relational leverage with someone as an asset until now. It is only now that I am realizing those traits of mine aren’t being ” lazy” compared to a “doer” they are intentional God given abilites that He intends to use to add glory to His name. That is just amazing to me. It’s funny when you truly start embracing the way you are uniquely wired, the things you “do” don’t feel like work, they feel natural. They are not exhausting. It’s just such a gift to embrace what comes naturally to you and share it with others. Then to have others say what you do in your natural abilites adds value to the team. I have never had that happen before in a work environment and it is refreshing. And as my friend pointed out today, how awful would it be if we were all doers and no one was the listener or encourager. I know I certainly love the ” doers” in my life. My mom and sister are perfectly examples. They would do anything at anytime and sacrifice anything for your benefit. Nothing about that comes naturally to me, but I am so thankful it does for them because it is such a gift to me. My dad and I are the listeners , the students of body language, intention. The world needs both types and I am finally understanding that what has always come naturally to me isn’t a ” less than” quality. I was hardwired this way for a purpose to serve a purpose. That is the most amazing gift to realize.
All this realization today drove home the verse that says in
Romans 12:8-18 New Living Translation (NLT)
8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
If God himself understands that we are all wired differently to serve Him in different ways, why do we ever doubt that however we are wired is any less that anyone else. He specifically made us each unique. Now to just take that unique quality and let Him raidate through us however He chooses.