Funny thing is people have been telling me all my life, that i have a knack for writing.. People tell me, ” i am good with words” …i guess it isn’t something i take credit for…every now and then God will just lay something on my heart and I feel the need to write it down. Only after finding out that our daughter would be born with an extra chromosome, and then the subsequent weeks and months after that did i ever start truly writing ….emails as it was ….i would write countless emails to my dad and a couple of trusted friends. I did it then as a means of survival. The heart break of loosing the ” child in my dreams” and grief of a crumbling marriage started me on a path of pouring out my heart on paper.
it was then that one of my dearest friends said to me ” you have got to share what you write” … other people need to hear of your journey, of your defeat, of your beauty out of complete ashes.
i gave it a whirl for awhile and then gave up…..i started basing how good my writing was or was not by how many people would ” like it” or comment on it. it has only been lately that i can feel that spur in me….” trust me with your words”…just keep writing….even if it’s only to an audience of One. it is as if God is trying to speak to me directly through my writing…I can tell He is trying to get something out of me…trying to refine me and He knows i learn best when i write it all down. But then the nagging voices take over….you can’t write…heck you can’t punctuate, you write in run on sentences…you don’t capitalize..this is not anything you are worthy of doing..what if you fail, what if no one reads..what if you give up again…to which i finally just decide ” i have no idea on all the what if’s ….” who really cares what the outcome is when i feel i am doing what i am supposed to be doing….maybe this whole writing exercise will only be for God to teach me something He can find no other way to teach me thanthrough my writing, and if that is the only reason that is a good enough one for me.
just when i am succumbing to all the nausea and nerves of starting this up again…i came across a post from a man who spoke at our Staff meeting the other day… and it was just another nudge from the One who loves me best to Trust Him and keep writing…i’ve attached Brad Montague’s poem and the picture he drew is the photo for this post
” dont hide your magic. please share your gift. seeing you shine gives the whole world a lift. It’s okay for wizards to be quiet or shy, but hiding your magic is a crime and here’s why:
The room needs to dazzle. It needs what you’ve got. You might think you are nothing and really you’re not YOU’RE MORE! Much more! It’s time to be seen! You’re more loved than you can imagine more powerful than you can dream. So, if you feel less than or that you don’t count
Or, maybe your soul is all flooded with doubt. Remember: You. Are. Magic. You’re equipped. You’re prepared. Most of all, please never forget magic is meant to be shared”