The Unmaking

I enter every October now with a holy reverence. 9 1/2 years ago we almost lost our marriage. The fear of the unknown was seemingly greater than the ties that bind. 7 years ago I texted my husband to tell him Zoey would be having open heart surgery. Right after surgery we found out she had cirrhosis of the liver. Then shortly after we found out the hard way Zoey has a non functioning spleen… and therefore takes daily medicine to allow her to have an properly functioning immune system. 5 years ago I texted Steve yet again, he had just landed in a different state on a business trip. Our daughter had a fever. None of us at the time realized she was infact dying. In a few short hours it became clear that death had come calling and our Zoey would most likely not survive, the chances were 15%. 7 years ago Steve and my ” unmaking” began. Part of the song says ” The beauty in the breaking, we had to loose ourselves to find out who we were..Before each beginning there must be an ending …sitting in the rubble i can see the stars. I love that part of the song….” sitting in the rubble, i can see the stars” In the past 7 years, we have been asked to take a journey. It has been a brutiful journey… ( beautiful and brutal ) it has involved a lot of rubble… a lot of realizing how truly fragile life is and being willing to live knowing how fragile your daughters health is and yet choose not to focus on the ” what if’s ” but the glory of her life and those she touches. But as steve and i would tell you…we would have missed out on so much so many beautiful stars that would never had been ours to see. I wouldn’t have prayed for a life like this but i am so thankful Jesus sees what we can not and if we will let HIm, He will show us His wondrous majesty…in the rubble

The Unmaking

This is where the walls gave way

This is demolition day

All the debris and all this dust

What is left of what once was

Sorting through what goes and what should stay

Every stone I laid for you

As if you had asked me to

Monument to holy things

Empty talk and circling

Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?

What happens now?

When all I’ve made is torn down

What happens next?

When all of you is all that’s left

This is the unmaking

Beauty and the breaking

Had to lose myself to find out who you are

Before each beginning

There must be an ending

Sitting in the rubble

I can see the stars

This is the unmaking

This is the unmaking

The longer and the tighter that we hold

Only makes it harder to let go

Love will not stay locked inside

A steeple or a tower high

Only when we’re broken are we whole

What happens now?

When all I’ve made is torn down

This is the unmaking

Beauty and the breaking

Had to lose myself to find out who you are

Before each beginning

There must be an ending

Sitting in the rubble

I can see the stars

This is the unmaking

This is the unmaking

I’ll gather the same stones where

Everything came crashing down

I’ll build you an altar there

On the same ground

Because what stood before

Was never yours

This is the unmaking

Beauty and the breaking

Had to lose myself to find out who you are

Before each beginning

There must be an ending

Sitting in the rubble

I can see the stars

This is the unmaking

This is the unmaking

Oh this is the unmaking

Had to lose myself

To find out who you are

One thought on “The Unmaking

  1. Beautiful, thank you for sharing your story. It’s a miracle, your miracle and Zoey’s. God has amazing plans for her! Love this song!

    Like

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