Some of the best advise I ever got was from my pediatrician after our first newborn visit. She told me at our very first newborn visit..” raise Zoey just like you would your son”…and to this day we have done just that.
the worst opinion i ever got was in an IEP where a person in the room ….who knew nothing of my child…had never met my husband my daughter or myself…and in an hour and 1/2… of meeting only my husband and myself, not even Zoey…proceeded to tell me ” mrs kramer…i know you may think you know what is best for your daughter but in essence you don’t” ….Lord have mercy…..if you know even the tiniest shred about me you can imagine how well that went over….
the difference between my doctor and this other person was so simple…our doctor saw no limits…this lady only saw a diagnosis….she had all her books and charts that told her what is expected from children with special needs and her degree and title…but as the saying goes…” until you have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes….its probably best not to tell a parent that ” they may think they know whats best for their child…”
Steve and I have never raised Zoey any different from our son…we expect her to learn and do, just like we expect our son too…..we will never know what zoey is capable of until we challenge her …does it take zoey longer to learn..yes….is finding the right form of discipline challenging…yes…are we constantly ” backing up and re punting to find what method works best for zoey”…yes….but just because something takes more effort or more thinking outside the box doesn’t mean you don’t keep pressing forward….the reward from expecting great things is far to magnificent to sit back and not keep trying…
like this mornings photo i took because zoey is so proud ….she is cracking her own eggs in the morning , stirring them up all by herself and pouring the eggs in the pan…she is laying out her three strips of turkey bacon and placing them in the microwave and pressing 3-0-0..and gets so excited to know she is ” cooking mommy”…….
steve and i often get asked…what about zoeys future…what will you all do about where she will live, what will her life look like …do you think she will work…blah blah blah…and i always marvel at those kind of questions…i understand why they are asking but i often think ( from countless times of being in children’s hospital) …even parents of typical kids cant say what will happen to their children in the future…no one has a guaranteed future of health and prosperity…so ….steve and i have done everything we know to ensure zoey has a bright future…weve set up all the special needs trusts…we’ve done every legal and logical responsible thing we can do for her…..but the greatest thing we can do for zoey as her parents is to constantly cheer her on…constantly expect her to be challenged and not set aside as a diagnosis…challenge those who think otherwise..and educate others on the fact that different doesn’t equal less than…turns out different is amazing and glorious and eye opening…and if you look closely enough…different will display the glory of Jesus and His love in ways you would have missed if you hadn’t been blessed with this unexpected gift of being different 😉