friends are the family you get to choose for yourself

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12:

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their labor.  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken .

What I am learning at this stage in my life is that just because someone shares your DNA or your name doesn’t always qualify them as “family”.  I have an Aunt who shares zero of my DNA but she has always loved my sister and I.   She and her husband have been at every wedding, graduations, proms…almost any big event in my life,  i can’t remember my Aunt Jan not being there,  And her only connection is that her husband and my dad worked together and she and my mom became fast and furious friends.  And although our families haven’t lived in the same city since probably the 70’s…that has never stopped our famalies from making sure we are in each others lives.

I have a ” mom” who, not only doesn’t share my DNA, she doesn’t even share my ethnicity.. however when i introduce her i always refer to her as my ” mom”.  She has always been in my life.  She was almost my 2nd grade teacher but i got sent to a different class.  She has been there for the birth of my daughter and birthday parties for people in my family.  And now the cycle continues because her daughter and i have become dear friends and so the track of love continues.

Then there is the “good jew” ( thats what he calls himself ;)…  One of my dads very best friends… He and i correspond regularly.  When my dad had his massive stroke,  he was the first person i called.  He didn’t even flinch he offered to fly from New York to California to help us drive my dad back to Atlanta.  He was just willing to drop everything at a moments notice because he loves my dad and our family.  He told me having me as his daughter would be his honor 🙂

Here’s the deal people…DNA doesn’t make someone qualify as family.  A shared love, and willingness to be there ….being a part of the memories….showing up…being present in more than just words…

Find the people whose love is a “verb”…not a salutation or the sign off for a text…find someone who shows their love in truth and action not just spoken word..find someone whose attention and time is reciprocal.

A highway that only runs one direction in not a relationship …that is a guilt trip….

Invest well.   IMG_7569

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